Am I wasting my time trying to figure out where you’re coming from.
I’ve built these stories of everyone else but for you I can’t even comprehend where this story will begin or end.
I’ve built forests and castles for everyone else, but for you I’ve tried to build something greater,
but all I could manage is this cracked terrarium that no one would ever want for themselves.
I wish you could give me more clues of how to build you,
but the more I dig,
the deeper you fall,
and you tell me that this is not my hole to craw in
and you push me away
and I can’t understand looking from the outside in.
I’ll never understand but I’m trying so hard to crawl myself in,
to claw myself to the closest proximity I can get before the sun burns off my wings. It doesn’t make sense why I’m trying so hard for someone who will never try back.
Is it the myth that the hardest rocks are the greatest diamonds?
Am I putting you on this pedestal for no damn reason but my own.
Is this self-torture?
Am I lying to myself that I’m doing this because I want to know you in 360 but maybe I’m just not willing to admit defeat in a losing game. Maybe I’m hoping you’ll come to your senses and fall in love with my effort. Cause we’ve been taught that actions speak louder than words. Maybe I’m trying to love you for the both of us. Cause I know if I ever break into your terrarium that it might just be worth it. You might just be worth it.